Weekend Away

Indeed something fishy was going on when I saw the Copernicus Carrier in the hallway. Mama & Papa went away for the weekend and sent me to my Aunty Jo’s. She too lives with her Mama & Papa therefore she must be a cat.

The home has stairs leading to an upper level. This is fascinating because you can go from upstairs to downstairs in an instant. I know this because I climbed to the top balustrade and jumped. Straight down. Everyone freaked out and thought I hurt my tootses but I just looked at them and meowed ‘You’ve got to be joking. You know I’m a cat right?’.

For the first couple of days I was nervous. New surroundings, strange smells, glass tables everywhere and lack of Copernicus fur on the furniture. That’s why it’s called furniture. And mine wasn’t on it. But I soon warmed up and took possession of the abode. I liked having people around all the time and especially all the attention Jo’s Papa gave me. He loves my little fishing rod mousie. I think more than I do because he kept reaching for it whenever I would enter the room. So I’d pounce on it to make sure he knew it was mine.

Overall the weekend wasn’t so bad. I enjoyed exploring new window sills and testing out the pad landings from great heights. I think I left a good impression. Or at least if I didn’t, mousie did on my behalf.

Only precious items are kept behind glass

Something fishy’s going on

Tonight I feasted on succulent flaked tuna. This is a wonderful thing however as I savoured the delicious fish I detected a faint aftertaste. Scepticism with a hint of guilt. This indulgence, coupled with the suitcase in the hallway can mean only one thing. I’m being shipped away to a foreign residence while Mama and Papa galavant to Cat only knows where.

This weekend is the feast of Easter. I know because the same time last year I spent three long days at my grandpapa’s house while a million strange people smashed red eggs and feasted on lamb. I hid under the bed most of the time because the uncivilised squawking and laughter hurt my tender ears.

The Copernicus Carrier is the vehicle that transports me from place to place. A cat-mobile of sorts. This too sits in the hallway awaiting its cargo. I’m not sure where I’m going. I hope it’s not to the Greek festival of red-egged hysterical fanatics. I’d rather stay home and choke on Whiskas.

Teddy Bear Grylls enters the jungle

The tools of my trade

These are my tootses. Very important. Or impawtant if you like. They get me where I need to be and sometimes that ends up being Trouble Town. Humans are notorious for discrediting their assets. Too big, too small, too hairy, not hairy enough. But cats know when they’re onto a good thing. Take my tootses. They’re the perfect size for running, licking, pawing, scratching, digging and face swatting a human too lazy to get up to serve your breakfast.

I have heard of a procedure called ‘declawing‘ where a kitty’s claws and toes are surgically removed to prevent him from inappropriate scratching. Please don’t do this. Thankfully it’s illegal in Australia, New Zealand, England and other countries. I can’t imagine the physical pain associated with losing your toes but I suspect the emotional loss would be sorrowful. Many cats suffer from litter box problems as a result because it just hurts to cover your business.

When we scratch it feels good. We stretch the muscles in our toes and it releases frustration as well as pheromones. A good scratching post and deep reserves of patience should put an end to this barbaric procedure.

Besides, who doesn’t love a good stretch and back scratch?

IRONCAT: Kitty and the dolphin

Cats can understand sonar. This is how the conversation went.

Dolphin: Come play in the water. It’s nice.

Cat: No.

Dolphin: It’s so much fun playing and splashing and swimming and… playing…

Cat: Stop hitting me on the head.

Dolphin: Don’t be sore with me. Just ’cause I can swim and you can’t.

Cat: Come here and say that. Oh yes, you’re delicious.

Cat Bow Tie

Bow ties date back to the 17th century. During the 30 Years War, Croatian mercenaries went to France to show their support to King Louis. In order to keep their shirts closed they wrapped a loosely fitted tie around their necks. The early form of today’s bow tie served two purposes: (1) To keep the top of their uniforms closed, and (2) to protect the soldiers’ necks from the cold wind and rain. Some historians still argue that besides having a solely practical purpose, it was also inspired by fashion.

I wear it because I’m British and I like James Bond. I got mine from The Sophisticated Cat.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/1555129

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Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Spilled milk

On the weekends Mama & Papa like to make coffee. I don’t know what this is but they seem to think it’s very important.

While the kitchen was unattended and the coffee machine started to whistle and squeak, I jumped onto the bench for a closer look. This was a brave move since counter cruising can earn me time in the Sin Bin. The Sin Bin is also my bedroom but not fun to be in unless it’s sleepy time.

Next to the warm coffee machine was a silver jug of heaven. Milk, full to the brim. I have a penchant for pushing things over edges. Rings, bottle tops, mousies, hair pins, coins, vases.

So I pushed the jug off the counter. It splashed to the floor, spilling deliciousness in every corner.

Whoever cried over spilled milk was an idiot.

Life imitates art

Thank you to Seriously Cute for this splendid work of art. Thank you. So much. Thank you.